No Safe Decks on a Sinking Ship

Themes: Avoidance
Helpful for: Stress, trauma, relationships

One of the greatest tragedies in history was the 1912 sinking of the Titanic. More than 1,500 passengers on this “unsinkable ship” died in the icy waters after their fatal collision with an iceberg on that chilly morning in April. While the crew worked hard to provide an orderly evacuation, historians share that it was likely incredibly chaotic on the ship as it sunk. People ran between decks, trying to figure out where to go to change their situation. But the reality was (and was always going to be) that they were on a sinking ship. Simply attempting to run to a different deck was never going to change that fact. This idea, this lesson, is one that I try to remind myself - and my clients in therapy: there are no safe decks on a sinking ship.

Decks on a Sinking Ship

It was well-documented that the passengers on the Titanic were separated on board due to their class and ticket situation. It’s easy to surmise that those who were on the upper tiers - the more elite, upper class passengers probably never dreamed that they would have perished in the cold waters of the ocean. In fact, they believed they’d be the first to evacuate to safety. However, those further down struggled to reach the top of the ship and to evacuate. As the ship broke in half, passengers and crew ran every which way looking for a safe spot - a place they could wait for rescue… nevermind that the ship was breaking in half and going down quickly. The only thing that was ever going to save those passengers was building a new ship - or never boarding the Titanic in the first place. How does this work in therapy? The idea of running between the levels of a sinking ship isn’t the most pleasant image, I’ll admit. But, the idea of running between things - while never fixing what’s going on - is something we’re all familiar with. Sometimes in life, we find ourselves struggling and sinking. We’re running between parts of our lives - relationships, our finances, personal issues, and so on - but never focusing on what’s really going on. We’re moving between those decks on a sinking ship and nothing is changing in our life. Instead, it’s important to stop - and build a new ship. Create movement in the direction that we want to go. All of that pointless movement is simply a distraction - a deflection and denial of what’s really going on. So, when my clients start to feel that distracted running feeling, we slow down. We evaluate what really needs to change - and how we make that happen. Maybe it’s time to really dig into that trauma you’ve been avoiding or making the big decision in your life that you’re putting off. Whatever it is, you have to remember that running between decks isn’t going to fix your sinking ship. Only building a new one and moving in the direction you need to go will help you move forward.