Carrying the Tree: Building Resilience

Themes: Resilience
Helpful for: Anxiety, stress, trauma, grief, chronic illness

As the holiday season picks up around us, I want to share a story with you. This story, and the lesson it provides, inspires me every day of the year - not just Christmas - and I hope that you’ll find it equally inspiring, especially when things feel too heavy to carry.

The Christmas Tree Story

The story begins with a child who simply wanted a Christmas tree in the middle of July. As someone who hadn’t felt strong roots throughout much of their childhood, this child just wanted something that felt normal and that felt full of love. After being shipped around to various homes throughout the seasons, they had yet to experience a true Christmas - with the decorated tree, the presents, the whole nine yards. Luckily, this child lived “near” a spruce tree farm. And by near, I mean that they were about 7 miles away - one way. But, this child was told that if they got a tree, the family would put it up and decorate. They weren’t allowed to take any rides from anyone and had to do it all on their own. Determined and armed with just a butter knife from the kitchen, they set off. As they arrived at the Christmas tree farm miles later, they began to cut down the tree… with the butter knife, when the owner arrived. The owner laughed and agreed to give the child a tree if they would head home. So that’s what they did. That child began dragging their tree seven miles back to their house. Cars honked, laughed, threw things at the child… but they kept going. With every step, that child was hurting, sore, and angry. But, with a million curse words and a lot of stopping, that tree finally made it home. Although it had to be propped in the corner to hide the flat side from being dragged, the tree made it up. Along the way, that child learned a few lessons. The most important one? With a little determination anything is possible.

We’re all dragging a tree.

Whether we’re dealing with trauma, grief, a chronic illness, depression, anxiety, or a hundred other concerns… we’re all carrying something. We’re all dealing with a problem or some burden that we have to shoulder. Sometimes it feels like we’re dragging that tree alone, in the rain, uphill both ways. But, as the child in this story learned: with determination, anything is possible. That kid knew that carrying a butter knife to cut down a tree was never going to work: but they did it anyway. They hoped anyway. They worked hard anyway. Those hard moments - the trees that we’re carrying behind us - are what teach us who we are. We learn how resilient, strong, and determined we can be. In fact, they often teach us that even without much, we can come back with so much more in our lives. What matters is that you keep pushing and dragging that tree. Even though that child had to stop on the side of the road to pant and sweat and curse, they ALWAYS went back to the tree. Keep going back, keep fighting: it’s always worth it. So now, I like to say that they’re “dragging the tree” when they’re dealing with something hard - something that requires tenacity and strength. It serves as a reminder that we’re all fighting something hard but that it’s worth it, and that we’re all stronger than we think.