The Huffy Bike

Themes: Fixations, anxiety
Helpful for: Anxiety, stress, trauma, OCD

Our lives are made up of days: special days, ordinary days, good and bad days - and all of the moments in between. But, occasionally, there are days that stand out to us. Those days stick out in our minds and we draw a huge circle on them on the calendar. As those particular days approach, it’s easy to feel the waves of anxiety building as the moment draws closer. As a mental health counselor, the anxiety about reliving or remembering an important (and often sad) moment can be difficult to process.

This fixation is incredibly common, especially if someone is suffering from grief, trauma, or a loss. But, the reality is that the date will keep coming. Unless you’re only ever going to have January 22nd the rest of your life, you’ll keep living through more January 22nds. So, how do we work through the anxiety of those specific dates? By choosing to - by choosing which version of the day you focus on.

My Favorite Day: The 4th of July

If you’re wondering what I mean, let’s talk about the 4th of July. The Fourth of July is my favorite day of the year - and it has nothing to do with hot dogs or fireworks. Over the course of my life, I’ve experienced many versions of July 4th, but three of them stand out.

My Huffy Bike

The first was in 1976. But, it started a few years before in 1972. That summer, my mom and I looked through the big shopping catalog dreaming about all of the things we’d love to own one day. Looking through that magazine, I immediately fell in love with the 1976 Huffy Thunder Star Bike - it was beautiful and all I ever wanted at that age. But, at that time, spending money on a bike like that was way out of our budget… and reality. Four years later, on the 4th of July, my mom asked me to run outside to get something for her. When I got to the end of our driveway, I saw that very bike I’d been dreaming about for the last four years. I couldn’t believe that it was real and it was in front of me. I’ll never know how my mom got that bike for me, but I’m still grateful to this day. I jumped right on and had the most perfect, wonderful day possible. It was such a normal day for us, yet it was magical all the same.

Rocky the Raccoon

Fast forward about 15 years and I’m working as a cop. On the 4th of July, we got a call that appeared to be relatively violent. My partner and I headed to the scene and determined how to best get into the house safely. All we could hear was a woman screaming and we assumed the worst. However, once we got inside - we found out it was a raccoon that she was screaming at! It was tearing up her trash and kitchen. At that moment, all I knew was that I did not want to get rabies from that animal so I tried to pin the raccoon up against a wall with a mop stick. Seriously, as silly as it sounds… that’s what I tried to do. My partner, a good old country boy, started to laugh and managed to get some oven mitts on. At that point, he was able to grab the raccoon and toss him out into the yard. When we left the scene, my partner lost it - he laughed at me and told me he’d never forget that moment for the rest of his life. And, he didn’t. I received raccoon coloring books, cards, and more until my partner retired.

Running with Raccoons

In 2018 on the morning of July 4th, I went for a run at one of my favorite parks in the area. As I was heading back to my truck (at zero dark thirty to avoid the heat), I nearly got knocked over near my truck. All of my prior training kicked in and I scanned the empty parking lot for whatever had almost hit me. In my fighting stance, I walked in a circle and couldn’t figure out where the projectile had come from. All of a sudden, I heard a growl in my ear and I looked down to see a raccoon (YES, a raccoon!) hanging off of me. I realized quickly that this was not good and I began swinging at the raccoon, trying to get the thing off me. Eventually, I kicked the raccoon off of me and started trying to get into the truck to find something to neutralize this raccoon. I know I looked ridiculous - in fact, another older guy was coming into the parking lot and asked if I was training for the Olympics while I was jumping on the car. I tried to warn him that a raccoon was out there attacking people! When I called my wife to head to the ER for my swollen ankle, she didn’t believe me and once I arrived at the hospital, the nurses and doctors thought the entire story was hilarious. I became a celebrity at that ER for years to come!

Choosing to Focus on the Good

As you can see, July 4th is an eventful day for me… and yet, it still remains my favorite day of the entire year. What I’ve learned, and try to share with my own clients, is that I never allow my worst day to be the greeting party for the days coming. I don’t want to let anything that was less than enjoyable be what I remember and worry about year after year. No matter what happens in the future on July 4th, I will always choose my Huffy Bike day. I will always choose to remember that perfect summer day over any other experience I have.

What happened on one day, it’s just a date. The number on the calendar doesn’t mean anything and letting go of that concern or anxiety over a date can open up the possibility of more good things coming my way. Choosing the good is such a powerful tool. But it takes practice - it’s nothing that happens instantaneously and with practice, choosing the good moment is a wonderful coping skill.